Here’s my guide to giving head but before I get into the finer details it’s important to note that there isn’t actually a right or wrong way as such.
Because, hi, everyone has different tastes, preferences, likes, and wants, which means it’s going to vary for every person you’re with. Different guys prefer different techniques, and there’s no way to know about their favourite unless you ask or listen to their reaction!
Something that’s really important and possibly overlooked is the fact that you should enjoy giving your partner head. If he knows or suspects you’re not into it, well, what a turn off no matter how great your technique! You want your partner to feel like their pleasure is the most important thing in the world to you in that moment.
For me, the appeal of giving my man oral is about how much it turns him on. I can literally feel him get harder the more I take his cock in my mouth.
And when he puts his hands on my head to guide my mouth up and down his shaft it let’s me know how much he’s enjoying it - my pussy just got wet thinking about how much I love to pleasure him and how much pleasure he gets when I do.
I like sucking his cock when I’m on my knees and he stands. My mouth is then in the perfect place for sucking, licking, stroking and kissing his magnificent member. It’s also a great position for deep throat. You might prefer a different position and that’s perfectly ok. Find what works for you.
I also really enjoy deep throating him in that position too. Let me rephrase that.....I fucking love it. I love it touching the back of my throat. I love choking on it. I love gagging on it. I love it when my eyes water and spit is dripping down my front. I think it’s the Dominant submissive aspect that appeals to me. Good grief, I cannot tell you how wet my pussy is right now. Even my clitoris is swollen.
I’d also like to say something about the good old ‘69’. You’ve maybe tried it and love it, good for you, but in my opinion it is terrible and dumb. The whole point of oral sex is that you can just lie there and do nothing while someone else gives you extreme pleasure. You’re either focusing so much on giving your partner pleasure that you can’t enjoy yours or you’re loving what they’re doing to you so can’t concentrate on giving them theirs. See, terrible and dumb. Either enjoy receiving or enjoy giving just not on each other at the same time.
So, my top 5 tips:
- There isn’t a right or wrong way
- Try different positions
- Don’t be afraid to deep throat him
- Pass on the good old ‘69’
- Most importantly enjoy giving your partner head
Now that I've got myself worked up into a state of needy desire I'm away to treat my man to a BJ.
I was really horny the other day. Ok, ok I know that’s not all that unusual for me but let's just say I was ‘extra’ horny.
I really wanted passionate, fuck me like you mean it, anal.
The hair grabbing, hand around the throat kind. The deep thrusting, balls slapping against my clitoris kind.
And well, I didn’t get it. So, what’s a girl to do? Look at some porn and then use her imagination! I actually wrote an article recently about the fact that women watch porn too. Us women like sex just as dirty, kinky and exciting as men and this particular girl DEFINITELY does!
I settled on a ‘faceless’ porn movie featuring a blonde woman with a handsome slightly older gentleman. The woman had a great body with fantastic tits. The guy was toned but not overly muscular - just my type.
They’d been out walking - a romantic walk along a beach in the sunshine. They’d been flirting and touching each other and as soon as they arrived home he hitched up her dress and fucked her ass.
It was carnal and passionate. He bent her over a dining room table and teased her pussy with his cock until she was begging him for more. He didn’t hesitate and penetrated her arse, no lube, no warning. He grabbed her hips, then her hair and when they were both ready to climax he put one hand around her throat and used the other to grab her hair and pull her head back. She took every inch of his thick cock and he claimed her in a way that left her in no doubt that she belonged to him.
It was exactly what I was in the mood for and satisfied my need for release. Because the individuals were ‘faceless’ it was easy for me to imagine that I was the woman and my partner was the male.
I have that video bookmarked so that the next time I'm feeling horny as hell I have a go-to movie that I know will get me off.
OH WOW, I've just had a package delivered in a discreet brown jiffy bag, it feels like a box is inside and I'm hoping it contains a certain something for self pleasure from Pleasure Jardin! BUT not only that - my friend, The Secret Submissive, has received the same package too. We are both going to be testing the same toy and comparing notes... we don't need much of an excuse to talk filth and now we get to play together as well. Exciting right?!
Read Secret's review here:
And our sexy combined review here:
The product packaging was reminiscent of a 1960's fashion print with a retro look in black and white. The information from the box tells me:
• the wand has 20 modes and 8 speeds! Oh the fun and combinations to be had with all those options!
• quiet vibrations which could be particularly handy for discreet play sessions
• flexible head, great for getting it in exactly the right spot!
• it’s waterproof - showers and baths just got a whole lot more fun
• the massager is cordless
• it's available in 3 colours and mine is the utterly gorgeous, purple. I like the idea of colour choices for toys... being a girl means I can colour coordinate my toybox!
The package contains a user manual and usb cable for charging. The instructions are easy to understand (although basic) but who wants to trawl through endless information - I just want to get going!
The massager has 3 buttons on the shaft:
2. Vibration pattern
3. Vibration strength
When switched on the buttons light up red which is another handy feature especially when playing in the dark.
The product is made from a silicone casing and has a very tactile feel that surrounds a hard shaft with a bulbous, firm and flexible head which is subtly ribbed. Pair the smooth silicone surface with a water based lubricant and it feels even more divine!
The toy is actually surprisingly compact and lightweight compared to what I was expecting but definitely an added bonus, something like this will easily fit in my handbag... unlike other wands I own.
Eager to play I popped it on charge straight away. Charging was quick and simple (approximately 30 mins). But, in all honesty I forgot to pay attention. I had to distract myself from the temptation of checking it every few minutes - I had an overwhelming and desperate urge to get to grips with this toy immediately! Anyway, back to the practicalities - the lights flash during charging and go static when charging is complete.
When I first turned it on I was disappointed that it was not as quiet as I hoped. This is not the kind of toy suitable for discrete play even on its lowest setting.
I was pleasantly surprised however, that despite its weight and compact size, it packed plenty of ‘punch’. This toy is powerful compared to other cordless wands and I quickly forgave it's volume.
You can select the intensity and pattern using the buttons on the shaft and I can assure you I had a lot of fun trying out the various combinations! Here’s what I did.........
I decided to tease myself by controlling my orgasms. I’m almost certain that on its most powerful setting you could climax VERY easily but not everyone is looking for a 2-minute wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am experience. I started at the lowest frequency and worked-up to the most powerful then back down again edging myself using the controls. When I was close to cumming and unable to competently adjust the vibrations (tee hee) I would turn it off catch my breath and then put it on again starting where I’d left off.
Once I was ready to explode, I left the Wand on my clitoris and had a VERY intense orgasm, my whole body was shaking afterwards. With this toy it’s physically impossible not to cum, it’s like being on a roller coaster… when it drops you, your body naturally has to scream (in ecstasy). You couldn’t sit there in silence even if you wanted to.
After I finished my play session it made me think that this toy would lend itself well to individuals that are into BDSM. The Dominant can control the orgasms of their sub by restraining them and then depriving or forcing them into an orgasm using this product.
Back to business though, aside from using the ‘edging’ method I also tried changing the pressure of the toy. Because it is such a powerful vibration (even on a low setting), I attempted holding it firmer and longer on my clitoris, even before the effects of my first orgasm had subsided. It almost feels torturous but there is something sexy about that. I also find it prolongs the orgasm and builds me up for the next one. The toy is so strong that the immediate reaction is to move it when your body is peaking. I found a lot of pleasure in seeing how far I can take it, holding it in the same position until I am squirming around uncontrollably.
As this toy is waterproof I HAD to try it in the shower too (obviously). I woke up ‘particularly’ horny the other morning so took the Wand into the shower. I was pressed for time so wanted to test my theory that it has the ability to make you cum quickly. Yip, I was right. Highest setting and pressed firmly to my clitoris. FUCK. Screams and moans of ecstasy, shaky legs and a very wet sticky mess between my legs (always a good sign).
Something else worth mentioning...... this toy works well as a body massager! Yes, I know that’s not it’s main purpose but hear me out! Treat yourself (and your body) with a massage after a long hard day. Rid yourself of tension by using the Wand on achy muscles. Even better cover the head in water based lube before you start this ‘ritual’. Start at your shoulders and work your way down. Don’t forget to tease your nipples and finish things off by teasing your pussy and climaxing. What a way to de-stress!
I highly recommend this product and in my opinion this Wand is essential in any sex toy connoisseur’s collection.
Despite its lightweight and petite size it’s powerful (but too loud to be used in a public place). It’s great for solo play and would make a great addition to a couple's toy box. 💋
New Year, New You is a typical theme heard in January. Well, how about a different trend for 2021? How about New Year, New Desires? What do you think? I rather like it and it works for me!
So what is my New Year, New Desire then? Something I’ve never experienced but really want to (and soon) is watching him masturbate across from me as I play with myself.
Let me describe my desire and how I’d like it to play out.
He knows I want him, I know he wants me. I can see his erection through his jeans, but, rather than letting me release him from his denims he asks me to strip off my clothes and get on the bed with my legs spread.
While I’m undressing, he does too but instead of joining me he takes a seat on the chair that faces the bottom of the bed.
He’s rock hard and begins stroking his cock. As he masturbates he tells me to lie on my back and to spread my legs wider so he can see everything. He tells me to lick my fingers and start massaging my clit with one hand while easing the fingers from my other hand into my tight moist pussy.
He watches intently, his own hand making long firm strokes as he grips his cock.
Seeing him like this, watching him watching me is such a turn on. My pussy is dripping with desire. He knows I want to climax but instead he tells me to get on my knees with my back to him. He wants to see my puckered hole and asks me to push my fingers inside it one at a time to get me ready for taking his girth.
As I’m about to slip in my third finger he stands up and strides towards me. He teases my pussy with his cock and once he’s satisfied I’ve covered it in my lust he penetrates my ass. Every thrust deeper and harder, filling me with every inch of his shaft. He puts his fingers in my mouth and when I’m overcome with desire he takes his fingers from my mouth and starts applying pressure to my clitoris, making circling motions as he does so.
It doesn’t take long for me to climax, to drench his fingers in my juices. And when he sees how wet I am. How much I want him he places his hands on my hips and makes his final thrusts flooding my ass with his cum. As he claims me, I climax again. I love hearing him say my name as my ass milks his cock for everything it’ll give me.
And that ladies and gentlemen is my New Year, New Desire. I strongly urge you to try this brand new Max Bonny trend. I’m hoping it catches on!
This blog post was inspired by Syd. He asked for a naughty confession. This isn’t it, but, it did remind me of the time I gave head on the motorway.
My pussy was to be accessible at all times even though he was driving. So, I pulled my jeans down to my ankles as we started our journey and placed a jumper over my lap to protect my dignity. I was concerned a passing vehicle might see and I guess I was embarrassed.
Any feelings of embarrassment didn’t last long because every now and then he would put his hand under the jumper and tease my pussy. He knows exactly what to do to make me wet. He teased my moist cunt and caressed my clit until I was heady with desire.
I was so aroused I wanted, no, NEEDED to taste him. Without hesitation I unbuckled his belt and released him from the confines of his denim (fortunately he doesn’t wear underwear, which, in itself is a massive turn on) and discovered he was already rock hard. As he continued to drive I licked, sucked and kissed his cock. As a side note, it’s the moans that escape from his mouth that drive me wild. The moans that let me know I’ve taken him to a place of ecstasy. A place that only I can take him. That really gets me. Every. Single. Time.
Apologies, I’ve digressed, I got distracted for a moment thinking about the noises he makes. Anyway, when we were both close to climaxing instead of giving us both the release we wanted he demanded I stop. We still had a long journey ahead of us and he wanted to make me wait. He knew making me wait would leave me desperate. He knew my pussy would throb and pulse until he touched me again. He knew there would be a sticky pool of desire waiting for him.
He wasn’t wrong! When we finally reached our destination neither of us could wait any longer. As soon as we got in the door (which took us into the kitchen) I pulled my jeans down and leaned over the counter waiting for him to decide which hole he’d use. I heard his denim zipper and the next thing I knew he was pounding my wet pussy. Once he was satisfied that I’d covered his cock with my juices he entered my ass. With every thrust he went deeper until I took every inch of him and we climaxed together that way. He filled my ass with his hot sticky load and I climaxed on his fingers which he made us both taste.
Needless to say, it was the best car journey of my life! The wait was torture but it just made me want him and his cock more. Taking me and claiming me in the kitchen like that was erotic, primal and sexy. That frantic need to fulfil our desires with one another. It was the perfect end to our final destination.
So thank you Syd, I’m glad your post brought me to this delicious memory. I’ve enjoyed relishing in the details of that very special journey. Here’s to sexy fun on long drives...
It’s happened to me a lot this year and I rather like it.
Admittedly, I was initially quite surprised, probably because it’s something I associate happening to males. However, after some research, it’s something that can indeed happen to females.
So what exactly is it that I’m referring to? Wet dreams or in scientific terms - nocturnal emissions. Basically dreams that create sexual arousal — and, as a result of the arousal, can sometimes end with ejaculation and you waking up from said dream, well, uh, wet!
My dreams have been particularly ‘arousing’ lately and I’ve often woke myself up literally trying to make love to thin air. Hips gyrating and thrusting with a very moist pussy which often ends in an orgasm. Yip, full blown orgasm and I haven’t even touched myself!
Let’s be honest, what an incredible way to wake up!
But what am I dreaming about that’s got me climaxing this way? It starts with me sliding my very wet pussy up and down my lovers shaft. Making him slick with my juices. He’s oozing pre-cum and he eventually enters my pussy. But only his tip. In a little bit and out, in a little bit and out. And fuck I want him to enter me fully but he keeps teasing me until we’re both on the brink of climax. At this point he flips me over demands I put my arse in the air and he uses our arousal as lube before entering my tight puckered hole. He fucks me hard this way until he fills me with his cum and claims me as his own.
Waking up with this delicious dream state memory that results in an actual orgasm? WoW. All I can say is that post orgasm ‘glow’ from a wet dream is amazing! Funnily enough it puts a spring in my step and I find myself grinning at the thought all day! I wonder why?!
Sometimes great things come in quick packages!
Honestly! They really do!
I absolutely love ‘quickies’ but I think it’s fair to say that the general consensus is that they’re not great. Probably because ‘quickies’ are, well, quick and known for being unsatisfying. But guess what - too much of anything — yes, even slow, sensual and intimate sex becomes bland if that's all that's going on. Plus, quickies are all kinds of fun. They're hot and filled with urgent ‘need’ (just how I like it).
Picture this for example:
You and your partner are at a party - there’s nothing better than teasing them throughout the night. Sending racy text messages, flirting, brushing against them and whispering naughty, dirty things in their ear (and you already know how I like rude ‘language’).
Then later in the evening when you’ve whipped them into a frenzy pull them to one side for a ‘quickie’.
Personally, (and yes, this really happened!), I’d take my partner to the bathroom, bend over the sink and hitch up my dress (FYI - I don’t wear underwear) and ask them to take me from behind right there and then!
Hands down nothing beats that when you’re overcome with desire and ‘need’. A need for a raw and passionate quick fuck. Plus trying to keep quiet when you’re turned on and doing it in someone else’s bathroom when one of the guests could knock at any moment just adds to the deliciousness of it all.
And then joining the party and facing everyone after, knowing you’ve just fucked your lover and made them cum is thrilling.
So what’s not to love about a ‘quickie’?!
Noun: sexually explicit speech or conversation intended to seduce or arouse someone.
What is it with dirty talk? Damn it’s just so sexy!
For me, sex should be somewhat dirty. Not in an unhygienic way, hell no. But in a way that if it carries an element of prohibition and forbidden pleasure, then my mind gets even more aroused by it.
So adding dirty talk to physical sexual activity makes for a potent, powerful combination (in my opinion).
Dirty talk creates tension and anticipation. It can also help you express what you like and want in bed.
Me, I love being grabbed from behind, my lover describing exactly what it is they are going to do to me! I like sexual commands, instruction, rude words. Tell me I’m your slut, tell me when to cum for you (and while you’re at it, pull my hair and wrap your hand around my throat). I want to know that you’re rock fucking hard for me. Tell me how good my cunt feels and how tight my ass is when you're balls deep inside me, (I‘d like to point out though that I’d only let someone talk to me this way if we have mutual respect and as per my previous blog are in a secure relationship!).
And don’t forget to be vocal with those moans and gasps. These ‘exquisite’ noises let your partner know that you’ve taken them to a place of ecstasy.
As far as I’m concerned the louder the moans and the ruder the words the better. You want me to be a wet sticky pool of desire then let me hear what I do to you in the ‘dirtiest’ language possible.
I love sex. By nature I’m a very sexual person. I love exploring and experimenting but I’m not promiscuous. I HAVE to feel ‘secure’ with the person I’m with in order to truly let go and release my inner wild.
I need intimacy, chemistry, connection. When I have that, the sky’s the limit.
I enjoy sensual sex, anal sex, quickie sex, elements of BDSM, oral sex and foreplay. It’s fair to say I enjoy it all.
However, and you might find this hard to believe, because of the aforementioned, I’ve never had a one night stand. Not once.
And that, that’s the confession - I’m just not interested in a quick fling.
Despite loving sex - it has to be with the right person. And when I’m in the hands of someone who makes me feel safe I can be a 100 different versions of myself. The only limit is imagination.
I’m definitely open-minded, kinky and naughty. I guess you could say I’m an adventurer and explorer of all things life has to offer (especially in the bedroom) but with a lover that I know and not someone I just met. There’s nothing better than having amazing sex and collapsing into one another after. I love waking up with the person who made my body explode just a few hours before.......And then exploring one another all over again!
“Each person is an enigma. You’re a puzzle not only to yourself but also to everyone else, and the great mystery of our time is how we penetrate this puzzle.” (Theodore Zeldin)
I’ve always been told I’m an enigma so a long time ago I stopped trying to be anything else other than a mystery.
You’ll never quite be able to work out what I’m going to do next and I actually rather like that. You definitely won’t figure me out over a cup of tea - you’re welcome to try but I suspect you’ll drown in the depths of me doing so. The only predictable thing about me is my unpredictability.
I’m all about the adventures, the exploration and risks that life has to offer so why don’t you join me on this journey of mine. Where we’re headed I can’t say but I know it’ll be fun, naughty and worth it!
I’ll be sharing some of my thoughts, feelings and experiences via my blog for Indulgent Desires. I’ll also be writing some articles for them too. You may have read about my first time anal experience already:
I hope you enjoy my musings.